With my first visit to August National Golf Club on the horizon, I am turning in my picks early this April. The favorites heading into this week are more clear than in previous years. I see the A list contenders as Jason Day, Bubba Watson, Rory McIlory, Jordan Spieth, Rickie Fowler, and Adam Scott. In an effort to see even deeper into the 2016 Masters storyline, I offer up the following advanced predictions.
- Vegas odds are 2:1 that I will shed a tear when my eyes are first laid upon Augusta National Golf Club. I will keep it together.
- Jordan Spieth will valiantly attempt to defend his title, however the par 5, 15th hole will serve as his week long nemesis and ultimate undoing.
- The swashbuckling Swede, Stenson, goes low on Thursday and Friday and leads heading into the weekend. However, a wild succession of water balls will sink his chances.
- No, Tiger Woods will not participate in this years Masters. However, the vast number of references and montages will make you think otherwise.
- Rory McIlroy sets a new record for number of Masters eagles in 4 days with 5. Rory simultaneously balances that out with 5 double bogies.
- Adam Scott plays solid golf all week and finishes 3rd. Looks confusingly at his putter after a birdie miss on Sunday's 18th hole.
- Jordan Spieth's Texas Barbecue is rumored to be one of the most delicious meals ever consumed at the Champions Dinner. Unfortunately, I will not be in attendance to confirm the allegations.
- As a contributing writer to Ashley Mayo's "Overheard at The Masters," the 2016 version will be one of the most viewed internet snippets of all time. Move on over David After the Dentist!
- Bubba Watson hits it into the woods on #10 again. However, he makes bogey this time and never recovers from the ensuing mental tailspin.
- Sleeper pick: Ryan Moore is only one off of the pace going into Sunday. Finishes solo 4th. After prediction comes true, controversy erupts over Ryan Moore's qualifications as a legitimate "sleeper pick."
- Jason Day finishes second for a change. Remains #1.
- Rickie Fowler wins the Masters by 2 shots and posts a record 16 selfies of himself doing rad $hit in the green jacket. Including but not limited to the following action items.
- Ricky begins his Masters victory lap by skydiving in the green jacket and successfully using the coat tails as his parachute.
- After his appearance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Ricky accepts a triple dog dare to scuba dive in the green jacket. Mako sharks look on enviously.
- Ricky's high tops, no pants, and green jacket selfie generates wild enthusiasm while drawing serious criticism from golf's governing bodies.
- Golf Boys 3.0 Green Jacket edition proves that even Augusta glory can't improve your rap game.
