Arizona can broken down into 3 phases with 3 sub phases and 1 trans phase.
Phase 1: The Chelsea Pezzola Phase
Phase 2: The Golf Bros Phase
Phase 3: The Wife Phase UPDATE: Ex-Wife phase
Grand Canyon
Antelope Canyon
Horseshoe Bend
White Sands National Monumen
Phase 1: The Chelsea Pezzola Phase
If you take one look at Chelsea's Instagram page, you might not realize how much fun she is to play golf with. However I would rate her fun score at 9.5/10. On this scale, anything above a 6 is hilarious and 10 is Bill Murray.
We went for a full 36 at Desert Mountain's Geronimo and Chiricahua courses. Chelsea tried to quit after 34 holes, but I gave her a weird look and she quickly came to her senses. (she finished birdie, par)
There are 6 Jack Nicklaus designed courses at Desert Mountain and it is an excellent place to get in a round... or 12.
Other highlights from the Chelsea phase include the podcast where we talk about her singleness, Taco Bell, and gambling for burritos. In an encore performance, Chelsea invited me out to play Mountain Shadows, an excellent little par 3 course. During the round she posed on the green. Afterwards, she posed on top of the RGV. What a poser, that Chelsea Pezzola.
Chelsea is the reigning queen of "Best RGV rooftop pose" Check out the stats on the RGV Tour Tracks page.
Phase 2: The Golf Bros Phase
When Chelsea took off for Vegas, the Golf Bros rolled into town... Rolled into town on Phat Bikes. That's right, you can strap your golf clubs to the back of these hogs and go play some golf. We tried to record a podcast with this crew, but it was left on the cutting room floor due to nudity, profanity, and man on man wrestling.
I talk a little about the Phat Bikes on the podcast, but in short, these things are a lot of fun to ride. They are easy to learn, it's literally like riding a bike. Plus, it's always cool to pop a wheelie. Just about everyone who saw us on them said the exact same thing "Woah, those are awesome." My only gripe is that they limit the speed, so you can't go 55mph down the fairway.
Note to readers: When gambling with "Captain Joe" and he says "We will play for lunch." He is talking about a $200 lunch. As you may have guessed, our team did not win.
After some time on the Phat Bikes, we headed over to the always classic, Troon North for some twilight golf. As the sun set over the desert, the last putt dropped on another day of 36 on the RGV Tour.
In one of the all time coolest moves, we had an RGV Tour player that was expecting the birth of his second child at any moment. In a real Phil Mickelson type move, he joined the tour at Wickenburg Ranch, awaiting the call for labor at any moment. I am not making this stuff up people, RGV Tour players are the real deal. Thank you Kyle Barthelson, for showing us all what it means to golf hard.
Baby or Birdie, not sure.
Mow game = good at Wickenburg Ranch
Shane Bacon would also invite me out to Phoenix Country Club to show me around, I didn't do much that afternoon, but here is a list of the RGV Tour records that Shane set in just one afternoon. All in 18 holes.
RGV ball speed record of 185.6 mph.
Best looking golfer to join the RGV Tour
Best divot
Best comeback on top of a current ongoing comeback
Best hand speed release pattern with rotation transfer through impact
Longest drive - somewhere around 2 miles.
Best calves
If Shane Bacon (SB) was a stock on the NYSE, I would buy it.
Phase 3: The Wife Phase UPDATE: Ex-Wife phase.
Hopefully in this phase, you will get a glimpse of how amazing my wife is. Since she stood by for a couple days as the golfing commenced in Arizona, I figured it was necessary to give her a break and do some non golfing activities. She planned and coordinated 3 activities... the 3 sub phases of The Wife Phase, if you will. The RGV Tour has many layers, folks. So pay attention, it is gonna get confusing.
Sub Phase 1: The Grand Canyon
That's me out there on the edge of the Grand Canyon, since it's about 300 miles long, it's not highly regulated and you can get to the edge pretty easily. Just looking at this picture makes we want to go to me knees and crawl back to safety.
Sub Phase 2: Antelope Canyon
Our tour guide was wildly enthusiastic and did a great job of moving us through a very busy canyon while showing us the best spots for photos. For photographers reading this, Antelope Canyon does have a special photographer's tour that allows you to take your time and get specific with your shots.
Antelope Canyon is an amazing place, it's about 20-30 feet down into the desert floor that has eroded the sandstone over time. How much time? Each inch down takes the rainwater about 1,000 years to erode.
Trans phase 1 of Sub phase 2: Horseshoe Bend:
After spending the night in a WalMart parking lot, we got up early to take a look at Horseshoe Bend.
Sub Phase 3: White Sands National Monument
White Sands National Monument was easily my favorite phase and probably my favorite thing that I have done so far on this trip. With sand as far as you can see, the wife and I skipped across the white dunes on our bare feet. Technically, White Sands is in New Mexico, but it still falls under the 3rd Arizona sub phase according to Tour protocol.
Naturally, I recognized the sandy tundra as the perfect canvas for a golf course and I pulled out my RGV Tour pin flag and constructed my own little 12 hole course. I submitted the design of “White Sands National” for the “best new course of 2018” with Golf Digest. Not sure if it’s gonna get the recognition it deserves.
After we finished up at White Sands, we made the 9 hour drive across the western part of Texas and into San Antonio. It is Texas time!!