There are 2 nights every year where the stars shine their brightest, The Oscars and The RGV Tour de France awards show. This is one of those 2 nights.

There were 34 golf courses and countless adventures on The RGV Tour de France and the time has come to break down the details and hand out some awards. The polls are closed, the votes have been counted and the committee is ready to present.

Best Par 3

We open with one of the most prestigious award categories. The par 3, it is just one shot, but there is a lot that a golf hole can do in order to separate itself from the good and become truly great. Aesthetics, challenge, shot options, all things are considered by our panel of esteemed judges. Here are the nominees.

Golf Dinard - 12th hole

It requires a serious shot to find the center of this small green perched above the beach. The location alone makes this a special golf hole.

Golf de Wimereux - 2nd hole

This beast jumps right out at you after a mundane opening hole. The mounding around the green is particularly excellent and makes for some seriously fun short game options.

Granville Links - 16th hole

This plateau golf hole is serious fun. Miss left or right and it’s a wildly fun up and down. You can also play off of the backstop and bring your ball back onto the green.

Saint Malo Golf Resort - 6th hole

The Surcouf course plays over this river twice during the round and the first is probably the most spectacular.

Best Par 4

I played 476 par 4’s on The RGV Tour de France which statistically made this the most difficult honor to achieve. Even narrowing the field down to just 4 golf holes was damn near impossible. So the committe narrowed it down to 6 holes in an effort to piss off less people.

Golf de Hardelot - Pines - 15th hole

A stunning golf hole that gives the golfer several options off of the tee. You can play up towards the green but you risk tree trouble. A good golf hole makes you ponder.

Guerande Golf Club - 15th hole

This tiny little creek makes this hole a lot of fun to play. An iron and a wedge is the safe option but if I were to get another chance at this par 4 I might bust out the driver. The best holes usually inspire a different play with every visit depending on the conditions.

Cabot Bordeaux - Chateaux - 11th hole

This little creek gives the golfer plenty of stress and plenty of options for play off of the tee and into the green. It is a glorious little decision that is guaranteed to keep the golfer interested with every visit.

Granville Links - 7th hole

The 6th hole gets most of the attention at Granville due to its proximity to the sea, but I found the 7th green too much fun to resist. A spectacular bunker guards the right edge and the punch bowl green sets perfectly into the links land.

Dinard Golf - 6th hole

The 6th at Dinard not only plays along the oceanside but it also gives the golfer a chance to drive the green. Its equal parts beautiful and fun.

Le Golf National - 15th & 18th hole

The 15th and the 18th at Le Golf somehow managed to team up and slip into contention as one golf hole. I am pretty sure this is against the rules but the selection committee approved it. Gonna be tough to beat these two high stakes par 4’s.

Best Par 5

A good par 5 is hard to beat and the very best provide a ton of options and a ton of ways to play the golf hole. All of the nominees below check this box hard. This is the heavyweight matchup and the winner will undoubtedly rule all of France.

Golf de Etretat - 10th hole

The 10th at Dinard was perhaps the most scenic golf hole that The RGV Tour de France played. The tee shot is dramatic and it usually takes 3 decent golf shots to have a chance at birdie. Visiting tourists are almost certain to watch your play from the nearby cliffs.

Golf de Seignosse - 18th hole

The uniqueness of this golf hole made it impossible to leave it out of the conversation. At 666 meters this is technically a par 6 but the committee has expanded the field to 5 nominees and is allowing it to compete in the par 5 competition.

Les Aisses - 6th hole

There is something simple yet glorious about a large C shaped par 5. The Dunes Club in South Carolina and Pikewood National in West Virginia do it to near perfection. Les Aisses joins the ranks with an exceptional 6th hole.

Golf Bluegreen Pleneuf-Val-Andre - 11th hole

The elevation here on the tee box is simply massive, which makes this tee shot a lot of fun. That tee shot determines your options for the rest of the hole. A good drive can set up an oceanside eagle.

Golf de Saint Jean de Monts - 11th hole

Playing directly along the seaside this beauty can be a real beast depending on the wind. I played it directly into 40mph gusts and barely got home in regulation with 3 good golf shots.

Best Oceanfront Hole

Golf is good but it is almost certainly better when it plays along the seashore. From the very beginnings of our sport, the sea has been connected to the game of golf. Even with a limited number of candidates, the competition rages immensely at the water’s edge. Here are my favorite golf holes that touch the edges of French earth.

Golf Bluegreen Pleneuf-Val-Andre - 11th hole

With nominations for both the 10th and the 11th holes at Pleneuf, this stretch of oceanfront golf is receiving some major endorsements from the RGV Tour de France. This little slice of a par 4 requires some serious accuracy.

Golf de Moliets - 13th hole

Moliets steps on the golf gas when it reaches the 13th hole and this short little number gives you all of the quirk and options that you could want from a golf hole along the ocean.

Omaha Beach - 5th Hole

A golf hole that celebrates freedom and those who gave their lives to protect it is certainly going to rise above the rest regardless of the merits of the hole itself. Fortunately, the merits pass the test.

Golf de Saint Jean de Monts - 10th hole

After spending the front nine amongst the trees, you emerge on the 9th hole and head right to the ocean for a seriously stout one-shotter against the sea.

Best Sideways Rain

Golf du Touquet is your uncontested WINNER

There was no need to vote on this category. There was only one case of sideways rain on the entire tour and it came at Golf du Touquet. A major bummer as this one was fun to play even with horizontal shaped rain. I can only imagine how enjoyable the golf course would have been with better weather. Please enjoy this sliver of a sunrise before the nasty stuff forced me to put away my cameras.

Best Chateau

The chateaus of France are truly something special. Fortunately, a lot of these old castles and estates have been turned into resorts with golf courses on them. Here are my favorite four French chateaus. This was a fiercely contested competition and several judges were nearly thrown into the alligator moat at Augerville.

Chateau de Augerville

A favorite from the very first glance. This chateau features a moat and an island golf green in the back yard. Gonna be very tough to beat.

Chateau de Raray

Just moments after the plane landed in Paris, The RGV Tour de France had arrived at its very first chateau experience. There is nothing quite like the very first time.

Chateau de Cely

A last minute addition to the schedule. Cely is a true sleeper chateau.

Chateau de Vigiers

3 golf holes play directly towards this special chateau. With several of the remains even spilling out onto the golf course, Chateau de Vigiers is gonna be some seriously tough competition.

Chateau Hardelot

Hardelot Castle is certainly spectacular but it really isn’t connected to the courses of Hardelot. That is going to hurt it’s chances. Apparently there was a tee box on top of the castle back in the day which would have been huge…

Best Parking Lot

The Best Parking lot category is always extremely contentious and it usually ends with several lawsuits being filed. Parking lot experiences can vary greatly from day to day and these nominations could be completely different a second time around. Thank you to everyone who let me sleep in their parking lots, I remember them all fondly.

UGOLF du Stade Français Courson

This was a brief stay at Courson as it was the only golf course that was officially rained out. The fairways and greens were full on rivers but the parking lot was hot fire.

Les Aisses Golf

The fine folks at Les Aisses are some of the friendliest folks in France and they offer a very generous parking situation The lot has three different sections and I stayed in the cozy far end.

Golf de Bauge

The parking lot at Bauge technically wasn’t even a parking lot. This big glorious field was spacious and luxurious.

Golf Du Haut Poitou

The parking lot at Haut Poitou has a skinny section in the back that nobody parks in. It was glorious and it was all mine. I was able to easily launch Pete Fly and cover most of the golf course from this elevated parking location.

Le Golf International Barrière La Baule

Not only was this lot one of the coziest but it was also a great place for the battery in the RGV to die. The golf maintenance team helped me with a quick jump. The battery would go on to die over a dozen times but this was the most enjoyable of those experiences.

Golf de Etretat

I took this photo directly above our highly coveted parking spot at Etretat. No less than 75 tourists accidentally pulled into the lot looking to grab a spot next to ours. They were all denied. We could also hear the waves crashing onto the nearby cliffs as we fell asleep.

Best meal

When playing copious amounts of French golf it is necessary to eat some food in order to keep the golf machine moving forward. Here are my favorite food experiences.

Pizza Vending Machine

I ate some pizza from a vending machine. It sounded like a good idea.

Lion Cereal - 650 G’s

This cereal provided roughly 85% of my calories throughout the course of the tour.

Ham and Cheese at Le Golf National

For no good reason, I attempted to starve myself during the final stretch of golf. This ham and cheese saved my life.

Pop in Michelin Star

Looking for food in a rural french town, we popped into a restaurant to grab a quick bite to eat. 5 courses and 2 hours later, we emerged.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Patrick Koenig (@pjkoenig)

Best Roadside Attraction

None of these are really roadside attractions. They are far better described as international destinations of extreme intrigue. None of that “World’s largest ball of yarn” crap here in France. The French do not mess around. Let’s watch these heavy hitters slug it out.

Mont Saint Michel

Perhaps the most impressive commune in the history of communes. Situated on an island and guarded by sheep this tremendous city amidst the sea is a sight to behold

The Eiffel Tower

One of the most recognizable towers that mankind has ever created. Undefeated in all French competitions since 1985 when The Sears Tower delivered a major upset.

The Palace of Versailles

A former royal residence commissioned by King Louis XIV. The main residence of French Aristocracy, court, and government. Plus plenty of gooooold.

Best Traffic predicament

Driving a large recreational golf vehicle around the roads of France is not quite as simple as it was in the United States. The roads are much smaller and the height restrictions are not always clearly marked. Plus everything is in French and I do not speak French. While there were certainly plenty of traffic hiccups, there was no voting in this category as we had a clear and certain victor.

The Ultra Rare 37 Point U-Turn in Saint Germain

I pulled down what looked like a one way street in the middle of downtown Saint Germain. The road began to shrink in size as I went further and it was eventually blocked off due to some sort of farmers market. I decided that the only way to possibly extricate myself from the situation would be to attempt a 37 point U-turn. There was no less than 55 pedestrians and tourists staring on in shock that I had the audacity to attempt such a foolish endeavor. At least one dozen motorists were honking at me with complete rage.

After about 10 minutes of back and forth and only about 10 points out of the 37 points required to execute the turn, it became clear that I was entirely unable to turn the vehicle around. Pylons protecting the pedestrians would have to be removed from the sidewalk. Several friendly French folks helped me out in this situation as a dozen more continued to yell at me in French. I remember thinking that this must be exactly what hell is like several times. I briefly considered just throwing the keys into the crowds of people and running away.

After another 10 minutes, we were able to move several more bicycles and rearrange a portion of the farmers market to accommodate my oversized American idiocy. I proceeded to execute the next 15 points in my turn and just as it looked as if I might pull off the feat, the battery in the RGV died. I then proceeded to get out of the vehicle and jump start the vehicle in the middle of the crowded street as French motorists and pedestrians continued to shake their fists at me with harsh un-approving jabs. After about another 10 minutes, I had successfully jumped the RGV and executed the remaining 12 points in the ultra rare 37 point U-turn in the middle of the extremely cramped French city centre. The entire ordeal lasted about 25 minutes and angered no less than 175 French citizens.

Favorite golf course

The final and most prestigious category of the night has arrived. Equivalent to the Best Picture award at The Oscars, this category has a way of making careers and minting fortunes. Here are the nominees.

Granville Links

The only pure links experience in France is also one of the very best golf courses in France.

Dinard Golf

Fun, scenic and friendly. “The Pebble Beach of France” should be on everyone’s bucket list.

Les Aisses Golf

There is something special happening in the heather at Les Aisses. The holes are varied and fun but also very challenging

Hardelot Pines

Most Americans are not incredibly familiar with the name Tom Simpson. Which seams ridiculous after playing several of his golf courses. The Golf des Pins course at Hardelot is one of his greatest.

Golf de Etretat

This is one of the most dramatic settings for golf that I have experienced. Etretat exudes classic vibes and a course that will never go out of style.